Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
