eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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