I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
