I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
pop tarts are not kleenex
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
