she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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