..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
