Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I currently don't understand fingers.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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