If i come over, it means nothing
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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