Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
