you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize