Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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