Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize