My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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