Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
