are you still at the devil's house?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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