so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
