I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
