We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
