Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
