i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
