We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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