I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
