you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
