She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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