you would pick up someone in the library
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
