i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
