I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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