like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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