my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
