this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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