Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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