He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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