you guys were way drunker than both of me
4 words: hood of his car
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
