My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
