Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I won the penis lottery.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
