Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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