When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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