Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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