fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
