What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
