try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Alive.
So much puke
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
