She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
