Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
