Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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