she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
