I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't notice because vodka
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
