I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
