nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
