it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
