Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
