Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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