.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
