Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
