guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
