I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
