i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
