I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Welp...herpes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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