My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
