I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
