It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and she was petting her beer can
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
