I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We need to get me chipped asap
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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