Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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